“I feel my heartbeat, feel my wings take flight..everything is golden underneath this sky..” – Cameron Ernst
It happens to all of us, that “funk” we feel ourselves slowly slip away into. We question everything about our business, about our work, about our job. Am I good enough? I hear the voices telling me I will fail, telling me I should pursue something else, or nothing at all. I hear myself thinking “why are you doing this? You arent even that good, there are SO MANY other talented photographers these brides/families could hire, why would they choose you?” So I constantly ask myself…Am I good enough?
Sometimes I wanna scream at myself for thinking these things, sometimes I wanna quit, and I think about how “easier” life would be, with my husband, my kids, my home would be cleaner, my schedule would be clear..sounds pretty nice, huh?
I have a fear of the unknown, everytime I drive my car I think, “will today be the day I get into a deadly car crash?” (BTW i think i clearly watch to much Greys Anatomy..**rip Mcdreamy**)lol. It sounds silly but, I have always been this way! As a kid, my mom was a single mom working late nights, 2 jobs, and I had nightmares she would never come back to us! So I feel anxiety and fear come naturally to me.
I compare myself, my photography, my work, my art, my brand, everything I’ve built to those around me, and I question my decisions..Is it good enough? What should I change? Should I be more like her? I know I have to stop comparing, It is a struggle!! I have to remember that I am ME! Nobody else is me, Im just me. My work is MINE. When the inquiries slowly stop coming in I start to wonder “what am I doing wrong?” or “whats wrong with me?!” My mind starts racing a million miles a minute, and my doubts and fears tell me I am not good enough! I want a business that glorify’s God, that makes my husband proud, my children proud and MYSELF proud, so how do I get there?! I have to tell myself that..
I AM GOOD ENOUGH!
The Bible tells us in 2 cor 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
This is something I keep telling myself, I will continue to push on, improve myself, my business, my photography. I will continue to open up on my fears and anxieties, talk and let people help and listen! I will look at my children, with their smiling eyes and infectious giggles and I will Boast in the Lord and be so thankful for all he has given me in my short time here on earth!!
and ya know what?
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH, TOO!!!