Samantha Martin Photographer » Virginia, DC, Wedding Photographer

      I’m not good enough

      “I feel my heartbeat, feel my wings take flight..everything is golden underneath this sky..” – Cameron Ernst

      It happens to all of us, that “funk” we feel ourselves slowly slip away into. We question everything about our business, about our work, about our job. Am I good enough? I hear the voices telling me I will fail, telling me I should pursue something else, or nothing at all. I hear myself thinking “why are you doing this? You arent even that good, there are SO MANY other talented photographers these brides/families could hire, why would they choose you?” So I constantly ask myself…Am I good enough?

      Sometimes I wanna scream at myself for thinking these things, sometimes I wanna quit, and I think about how “easier” life would be, with my husband, my kids, my home would be cleaner, my schedule would be clear..sounds pretty nice, huh?

      I have a fear of the unknown, everytime I drive my car I think, “will today be the day I get into a deadly car crash?” (BTW i think i clearly watch to much Greys Anatomy..**rip Mcdreamy**)lol. It sounds silly but, I have always been this way! As a kid, my mom was a single mom working late nights, 2 jobs, and I had nightmares she would never come back to us! So I feel anxiety and fear come naturally to me.

      I compare myself, my photography, my work, my art, my brand, everything I’ve built to those around me, and I question my decisions..Is it good enough? What should I change? Should I be more like her? I know I have to stop comparing, It is a struggle!! I have to remember that I am ME! Nobody else is me, Im just me. My work is MINE. When the inquiries slowly stop coming in I start to wonder “what am I doing wrong?” or “whats wrong with me?!” My mind starts racing a million miles a minute, and my doubts and fears tell me I am not good enough! I want a business that glorify’s God, that makes my husband proud, my children proud and MYSELF proud, so how do I get there?! I have to tell myself that..



      The Bible tells us in 2 cor 12:9  “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

      This is something I keep telling myself, I will continue to push on, improve myself, my business, my photography. I will continue to open up on my fears and anxieties, talk and let people help and listen! I will look at my children, with their smiling eyes and infectious giggles and I will Boast in the Lord and be so thankful for all he has given me in my short time here on earth!!

      and ya know what?






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